Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Nintendo Digital Event 2015: Not-so-live Impressions

Goodness knows why, but I've given all the main Nintendo Directs the not-so-live treatment so far this year. Here comes the big one though and I think a few predictions are in order first. Given the frankly ridiculous amount of time I've spent mulling these over this time round, I'm feeling pretty confident about my picks this year:
    1. Boom! Animal Crossing! I think the leaked amiibos make this pretty much a slam dunk, but still.
    2. A Mario 3D World sequel. I'm leaning more towards Wii U than 3DS with this one, but either way I think they'll put one more of these out this gen before they put this sub franchise to bed. A Wii U one makes more sense because it's in more dire need of games, and they should be able to turn around a Mario Galaxy 2 style sequel relatively quickly.
    3. Pre-made levels for Mario Maker. I think they're going to be providing some pre-made, playable levels for Mario Maker. Probably some on-disc and downloadable ones after that. Possibly some made by some game design celebrities.
    4. A Zelda surprise teaser. there's no way they're going to let E3 pass without showing the Wii U Zelda in some form, right?
    5. Lego Dimensions - Nintendo have a rare opportunity to showcase a new 3rd party Wii U game here, one that should crossover with their audience quite nicely. I'd imagine here's where we'll see the big Lego Dimensions showcase and I bet they'll have some exclusive amiibo based content for the Wii U.
    6. I'm going to say that we'll see Retro's next project here. I'm not necessarily expecting Metroid. It could well be be Star Fox.
    7. Starfox amiibos, of course. I'm guessing one for each team member and an arwing.
    8. And speaking of Star Fox, I hate to be a downer here, but I'm predicting they'll have made some major mistake with that game that will end up spoiling everything.
    9. While I'm on a negative tip, I really don't think we'll see any more 3DS games specifically for the New 3DS here. New 3DS owners can't be making up a very big segment of the market right now and I can't remember Nintendo making any great effort to support the DSi with retail exclusives. (DSiware was slightly different case).
    10. Another Kirby game for the 3DS. It feels about time. 
    11. And finally, some kind of Mario sports game, besides the Olympics one they've already announced. After the success they've almost certainly been having selling DLC for Smash and Mario Kart, I expect a new Mario Tennis or Golf if only as a venue to sell some more.
            I'll be bummed if all they do is fulfil my predictions here, so hopefully they have a few surprises up their sleeves. I doubt they can outdo Sony conference, but hey, here's hoping.

            Let's get started!

            • 00:00 - Well, this looks like the right video. (Trawling through YouTube in the thick of E3 while trying to avoid spoilers is a perilous affair.) Here goes!
            • 00:14 - Wait, is that a muppet?
            • 00:17 - If not, Disney are furiously pounding out a cease and desist notice as we speak.
            • 00:25 - Muppet Iwata. What the fuck

            • 00:34 - Yep.

            • 01:00 - I was expecting the Reggie puppet to be terrifying. This doesn't disappoint. :D
            • 01:01 - Ugh.
            • 01:23 - Oh no! Where's Miyamoto?
            • 01:24 - There he is! Oh hey, just noticed the Starfox shirt. Please be good, please be good...
            • 01:28 - Just letting the bizarre wash over me. 

            • 01:35 - Is it just me, or is there something about the way they twist their heads as they move that makes these things creepy as shit. 

            •  02:05 - And speaking of creepy, Now I'm imagining Miyamoto in a fur suit. Wow, that's... that's a disturbing image.

            • 02:47 - Thank goodness! Our Nintendo executive fur pile nightmare is over. Now these guys I can get behind. (Not like that though.)
            • 03:03 - I really want plush Peppy and Falco amiibos now. I'm sorry! I can't help it any more!
            • 03:13 - Here we go!

            • 03:29 - Looks nice. This looks like Star Fox 64 Corneria though. Hopefully this isn't just a remake of Star Fox 64 though.
            • 03:52 - Ooh, some Starfox 2 stuff. Liking the music a lot too.
            • 04:10 - I really hope all this gamepad stuff is optional though. Holding it up and moving it around to aim was what I took from last year. I don't see how that wouldn't be awful.
            • 04:30 - No sign of on-foot missions yet thank goodness. Maybe this is finally it: the Starfox 64 sequel; the game that was all anyone ever wanted.
            • 04:37 - Star Fox Zero. Holiday 2015. Colour me cautiously optimistic. I wonder who's developing though.

            • 04:53 - It's Shiggy. Huh. I wonder if this being developed in-house after all.
            • 05:07 - Whoah. So Starfox was inspired by Thunderbirds. Crazy.
            • 05:26 - Yeah Pigma! Again, this looks really nice.
            • 06:15 - Man, Miyamoto just dropping revelations here. I would have never guessed the in-game arches were inspired by a Japanese shrine.
            • 08:21 - Oh shit! A wild Starfox 2 mention appears. Any chance of VC revival, I wonder? Got to say, I not liking all this talk of the gamepad screen. If you end up having to spend a bunch of time looking at that rather than at the TV, that's going to be a real let down.
            • 08:29 - Heh. "Didn't make it out" is an interesting way of putting things. :D Yeah, doesn't look like Star Fox 2 is due for the Earthbound Beginnings type treatment any time soon.
            • 08:37 - Landmaster! (Damn you, Sakurai!) Yeah, I don't mind the Landmaster. (At least in Star Fox) The submarine I could probably do without though.

            • 08:46 - The gyro wing, which totally isn't a drone.
            • 08:54 - What!? Was that a ROB coming out of the gyro wing?

            • 08:58 - That's a cool-looking boss.
            • 09:16 - "Not a remake" Thank you, based Miyamoto.
            • 09:53 - That logo does look cool. Kind of Street Fighter-ish.
            • 10:09 - Oh, hey Reggie. Say, what's that blue feather doing on your jacket?

            • 10:15 - Ha! We do like to have fun here at NOA.
            • 10:17 - Yeah, that opening was deeply distressing.
            • 10:27 - That theme was.. hot sweaty yiffing.
            • 11:27 - Guess we're ramping up Mario Maker here. Yeesh, the Wii U NES emulator looks horrible.
            • 11:58 - "Who knows. Maybe even I'll be playing." But no, seriously, I definitely won't be playing.
            • 12:12 - New amiibo. HYPE! HYPE! HYPE! HYPE!
            • 12:27 - Calling it: here's the full-blown amiibo Skylanders-type  game I predicted last year. :D
            • 12:37 - Wha? Vicarious Visions. Googlekata suggests they're the Skylanders devs. Are they doing an amiibo tie-in with this year's one?

            • 13:14 - Yep. Donkey Kong coming to Skylanders this year. Looks more like a Skylanders figure than an amiibo though. Haven't messed with any kind of Skylanders yet. I'll probablly pick up a bunch of stuff once Activision runs the franchise into the ground and the firesales start. Just like Guitar Hero. :D
            • 13:47 - This is some late Gamecube EA-style business here. (An unprecedented partnership, if you will.) I imagine it'll have a similar effect on the sales of Skylanders as it did on the sales of SSX: On Tour and NBA Street V3 on GC: not much.
            • 14:14 - Oh, the figures are amiibos too. Nah, no sale; not into these ones.
            • 15:38 - Weird that they didn't have some kind of Starfox tie-in though if vehicles are the big thing in this year's Skylanders. Anyway...
            • 15:47 - This puppet stuff isn't doing it for me at all this year. It's certainly no Iwata/Reggie smash brawl. Than again, wasn't last year the Robot Chicken stuff too? Ugh.

            • 15:56 - Huh? I guess they're adding Zelda stuff to Mario Maker. Makes sense, I guess.
            • 16:04 - Or not. Zelda Triforce Heroes.
            • 16:08 - Sounds like a Four Swords follow-up maybe.

            • 16:12 - Yep, looks like it. On 3DS.
            • 16:15 - There are totally going to be DLC outfits in this, aren't there.
            • 17:37 - For a second there I thought this was going to be New 3DS exclusive. My prediction stands!
            • 18:51 - Yeah, I'm never going to play this. I can't really say I ever found the ea of multiplayer Zelda especially appealing. Plus, local handheld multiplayer: just not happening.

            • 20:10 - They're really leaning into the outfit stuff here. No way they're not pushing DLC for this one. DeNaaaaaaaaaaa!
            • 20:37 - Oh, there is online multiplayer. Still not for me, I think.
            • 21:19 - Ah, the 3DS Hyrule Warriors.

            • 21:43 - That King of Red Lions attack looks rad! I'll bet it's no fun to use though. Looks like the crappy spinner lunge forward attack. (Stupid spinner. Man, what a complete disappointment that was. :D)
            • 22:20 - Wait, are we getting another Wii U Hyrule Warriors here?
            • 22:31 - Nope. More Hyrule Warriors Legends. Disappointing to see that this is (mostly) just a downport with a few new bits of content. Was anyone really crying out for this?
            • 23:36 - Well, we're at about the halfway point now. Starting to get the impression tat this point hat this year's going to be a bit of a let down.
            • 23:55 - Another 3DS game. (Come on, guys. Where's the Wii U love?)

            • 24:03 - What?! This is a Metroid Prime game? Oh boy, judging by teh kiddy look of those galactic federation guys, I sense people on the internet are going to be pissssssed at this. :D
            • 24:07 - Another 3DS multiplayer game. No, after eight years of no Metroid Prime, this is exactly the type of revival I was hoping for. Thanks Nintendo. Now I'm pissed at this. :D
            • 24:33 - So was that Blast Ball thing they showed at the Nintendo World Championships just a prototype for the Blast Ball mode in this? Available 2016. Yeah, hmm. I don't know about this one.