Friday, June 23, 2017

Xbox E3 2017 Briefing: Not-so-live Impressions



Yep, back to doing Microsoft's E3 show again this year and really, how could I not as now the proud owner of an Xbox One myself. Got a pretty good deal on a used, OG Xbox One around Christmas, thinking that I'd probably need something I could play Mass Effect: Andromeda on. Turns out that no, I was good. :D Still, I've finally been able to play a bunch of Rare Replay, which is awesome, and I've got the Killer Instinct Definitive Edition, and Shadow of Mordor waiting in the wings, so I'm not doing too badly. The huge updates have proven to be a bit of a problem with my slow-ass broadband though, and speaking of slow: boy, that Xbox One UI. That's not even getting into the performance gulf in third party games compared to the PS4 or Microsoft's so-so first party output of late.

But never fear; Scorpio is here! Will Microsoft's grand refresh finally do away with the problems of the Xbox One? Will they finally announce some new IPs that anyone cares about? Will Cuphead ever get released?

Only one way to find out.

Looks like it's time to play some good old-fashioned Microsoft E3 conference bingo.



Once again, drinking is optional, but given the apparent longer running time this year, it might be worth looking into. :D



  • 0:00:00 - Oof! An hour and forty three minutes? They really weren't kidding about the longer runtime, huh? :D

  • 0:00:13 - Okay, looks like we're starting off with a Kinect poncho reveal-esque "fuck all the Xbox stuff before now; it was all just building up to motion cont... uh, I mean 4K"

  • 0:00:18 - 720p? Lame!
  • 0:00:28 - 1080p? Pathetic!

  • 0:00:36 - 4K Ultra HD?!! OH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuu

  • 0:01:17 - Wow, such high-density pixels (or whatever nonsense they were claiming last year :D).

  • 0:01:22 - No, it's a CG-rendered processor. Looks like were about to get a logo and a name here. (Come on, Xbox 420!)

  • 0:01:58 - Ooh, looks like some Mordor: Shadow of War coming up. And more Gears. Eww!

  • 0:02:06 - And Halo, and Forza. Microsoft just tearing up all the rules this year.

  • 0:02:40 - That looks like Crackdown though. Finally!!

  • 0:02:59 - There's the Scorpio. Looks a bit like the S, given a slight Mass Effect makeover. Not bad.

  • 0:03:18 - It's Phil. Not digging the the T-shirt. Player (1)? Huh?
  • 0:03:23 - Oh no. Do they have Xbox fans hooting and hollering at this this year? Eww!!
  • 0:04:03 - Oh, talking about the original Xbox. Drink!
 
  • 0:04:35 - Xbox One X. That's a lot of Xs in there. And it'll still be saddled with all the Xbox One's baggage. Got to say: kind of terrible name. Drink!
  • 0:04:54 - November 7th. Do we get a price here though, I wonder?
  • 0:05:57 - Woo woo! 6 teraflops. Drink!
  • 0:06:10 - Yeah! I love memory bandwidth!
  • 0:07:04 - No way. They're not going to announce OG Xbox compatibility here, are they?
  • 0:07:14 - A console with "Xbox One" in the name supports all Xbox One games and accessories? Madness!
  • 0:07:33 - Okay, improved visuals and load times on Xbox One games. Good stuff.

  • 0:08:52 - "Yeah, woo! I lope vape!"
  • 0:09:39 - The smallest Xbox ever. That, my friend, is a low bar. :D
  • 0:10:04 - A Windows 10 mention. I thought they might be dialing that back this year with the One X, but I guess they're still trying to push that Windows 10 store.

  • 0:10:14 - First game. Assassin's Creed maybe?
  • 0:10:25 - Those were camels, and this looks very Sahara-like...

  • 0:10:35 - Nope, it's Forza. Boo! :D

  • 0:10:50 - This does look pretty great, but it's literally impossible for me to care about these games. Need for Speed: Payback though looked pretty dope yesterday.
  • 0:11:58 - I smell a car about to come on stage...

  • 0:12:58 - Yes!! Man, so stupid. I love it!
  • 0:13:42 - The digital and the real world are merging?! Oh god nooooooo!!

Friday, May 19, 2017

Nintendo Direct 12/04/2017: Extremley Not-so-live Impressions



Damn it, Nintendo! You always release these at the worst possible times! :D I don't think I've ever been in the middle of a busier time when one of these dropped, so much so that I was planning to give this one a miss, given it's apparently heavy Arms and Splatoon 2 focus. After catching wind that there might be some amiibo announcements on offer though, of course I immediately changed my tune (because having every available surface covered in the things apparently isn't enough), finally finding the time to sit down and take a look at it the following weekend.

Finding the energy to get this post together though, and not just collapsing into my arm chair to play some BoTW, proved to be a little more difficult. :D


  • 00:00 - Wait, PEGI 18? Well it's certainly not for Arms or Splatoon. Devil's Third 2, you guys! It's happening!

  • 00:16 - Koizumi! I guess he's going to be the Japanese face of these from here on out now.
  • 00:29 - Yes, Koizumi, please be my guide.
  • 00:45 - Yikes. This snapping fingers to "switch" thing isn't stopping any time soon, is it?

  • 00:48 - Oh, come on! What the hell's this!? :D Way to strip away any surprise from these things, Nintendo. And boy, is that a bunch of stuff I don't care about. :D

  • 01:03 - Well, I guess I am a little interested this Pikmin game at least. I do wish they were doing a Switch version as well though. Man, this looks rough.

  • 01:29 - Yeah, can't say I'll be picking this up, at least not at full price. (I already have a towering pile of DS and 3Ds games to ignore.) That amiibo though? Oh, baby!

  • 01:47 - Ever Oasis. Ohh! This was announced back at E3. (Well, just barely.) Man, I forgot this game even existed.

  • 02:18 - ...huh. What? Oh, sure. Kindness. Yep, sounds great. How many 3DS games are there left to go through here again? :D

  • 02:59 - Monster Hunter Stories, which seems like, sort of, Pok√©mon set in the Monster Hunter universe. (So probably something I'll never touch then. :D).

  • 03:37 - Some Yo-Kai watch now. Again, no interest here, even if Fleshy Souls might well be the best subtitle for a video game ever.

  • 05:04 - Man, RPG Maker. I remember downloading a PC version of that, or something very similar, like, 15 years ago with grand plans to make a game. I made a few minor alterations to some stock town that came with it and then promptly forgot all about it.
  • 05:20 - I guess this is kind of cool though, even if I'm firmly not in the audience for it.

  • 05:34 - Miitopia. I've seen it pop up in forum topic title, but i have no idea what this even is.
  • 05:55 - Arrrrgh! Miis singing is somehow even worse than them chirping in the Wii U's Mii Plaza, which for some reason, I just can. not. stand. If I could disable that screen permanently I would, or, like, send in riot police with tear gas or something. Damn it!! Just make them stop!!

  • 06:13 - So it's an RPG then, that you can import Tomadochi Life characters into?

  • 06:43 - Still not any clearer on it after that really, but anyway, Fire Emblem. I think this is a remake of one of the older, pre-GBA ones.

  • 06:46 - A modern enhancement, you say? Oh. It's DLC. :D

  • 07:11 - Nintendo: very into their season passes at the moment. Still haven't put down the cash for the Breath of the Wild one. I kind of don't want to encourage them by paying for a season pass that you can't buy piecemeal; that's still pretty far out; and, that's offering a bunch of stuff they still haven't really detailed in any way. A "new map feature". Like, what!? That's no to say I won't buy it. I absolutely will, but not until the first pack drops at least. That'll show them!

  • 07:20 - Good grief, is it really five years since the last Kirby Anniversary?. I've barely even touched that Wii anniversary compilation.

  • 07:50 - First up in the anniversary celebrations: Team Kirby Clash Deluxe - a free to play, handheld, co-op, battle game. It's like they made it exclusively with me in mind. :D

  • 08:06 - Kirby's Blowout Blast looks kind of fun though. Of course it's on the 3DS only. Boo!

  • 08:26 - And finally; oh the joy; yet another multiplayer 3DS game, but starring Kirby.
  • 08:35 - You could say that 2017 is Kirby's big year; it just wouldn't be true.

  • 08:44 - "Remember this?" Nope. :D

  • 08:50 - Oh, it's that last Brain Training game. Yeah I put all of five minutes into the first one. Maybe.
  • 08:58 - Noo! Come back Shibata. This guy voicing the trailers in this Direct is literally the worst.

  • 09:23 - Yes! Finally something I can get excited about. :D Had this spoiled beforehand, but I am definitely down for Cloud and Bayonetta here.

  • 09:31 - Oh! Two versions of each. Might have to go for both versions of Bayonetta. Advent Children/Kingdom Hearts Cloud though? Yeah, not so much.

  • 09:38 - Whoa! More Zelda amiibos too? Just more Links though, I guess. And... wait, hold on. Why is Twilight Princess Link holding his sword upside down? Why does Skyward Sword Link look all buff and angry. Yeah, I think I'm passing on those two; maybe not Majora's Mask Link though. Kind of bummed that they're doing another TP-era Link (after that Smash Bros. one with the pee colum), and again, it's pretty goofy-looking. After a quick Google image search, I can see that it is actually based, pretty closely, on a piece of TP promotional art, where he does indeed hold his sword like this, but, you know what: it looked weird then too. :D Plus, his tunic isn't even the right shade of green! ( And still no Tetra. :( )
  • 09:47 - Our long, national 3DS nightmare is over. Arms!

  • 10:02 - Is that a fist on his head? Boy, I think Nintendo have just opened up a whole new world of Arms fan art possibilities.

  • 11:04 - Yikes. There's really no better way to loose my interest immediately that to start drilling down into detailed game mechanics. Well, unless that game is also a free to play co-op 3DS game. :D This does look pretty neat though. Not quite neat enough to get me to splash out on a Switch before Mario, but still.

  • 11:26 - Looks like there'll be mini games here that you can earn currency with, which you can gamble to unlock items, Smash Bros. style. This breaking targets one looks kind of fun. Hopefully there'll be a good variety of games on offer.

  • 12:04 - So you can mix and match different arms. That should, hopefully, keep the fights interesting; allow for a lot of different strategies. Well, at least until someone comes up with the one combo that'll break everything.
  • 13:51 - There really seems to be a lot more depth to the fighting here than I would have expected back when this was unveiled. Have to say that I'm not super into the character design though. It's a bit on the generic side for a Nintendo game. They're certainly no inklings.

  • 14:45 - The graphics do look quite good though. The specifics of the this fight on the other hand, I couldn't tell you the slightest thing about; my brain switched off like a minute ago. :D
  • 16:12 - Oh boy, if there's something I find even more boring than people detailing game mechanics, it's watching other people play multiplayer games. (Oooooooo! In your face, eSports.)

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

DeviantArt Catch-up 15/03/17


Burning
by JiliK - Sep 15, 2016


Shapey Guy
by JiliK - Mar 15, 2017


Strange Terrain
by JiliK - Mar 15, 2017