Nintendo Direct: E3 2019 - Not-so-live Impressions

Wow, remember when these things being two weeks late was the norm? 'Cause I barley do. :D So anyway, sometime - aeons ago, I think - E3 2019 happened. By all accounts a bit of a lackluster show this year. Sure we had Keanu and a few interesting reveals here and there, but also a ton of updates to previously released Games as a Service games, a real resurgence of (terrible-looking) mobile games and a near total lack information on Microsoft's streaming service and next console. Well aside from 'it'll have Halo on it'. Man, who could have seen that coming?

So, I was really looking to Nintendo's showing to, well, save E3, I guess. (Oh wow, am I one of those people now? Yikes!) But, with Luigi's Mansion 3, Link's Awakening, Mario Maker 2, Pokémon Sword & Shield, Animal Crossing, Astral Chain, and more already announced, coming soon, and sure to pop up here, what else could they possibly pull out here in service of E3's salvation?

Predictions!!!

- A New Zelda - The case against this is obviously the the presence of both the LA remake and Cadence of Hyrule on the horizon right now, but don't forget that BoTW was announced unexpectedly early too, and they should probably have something to show of the next game at this stage. I think we'll at least get a glimpse of it here.

- No Metroid Prime 4 - I'm sure they really regret announcing MP4 when they did, given what happened. I'll bet we don't see it again until it's a year out from release at most, and they're very confident they can actually hit that date.

- Some Square-Enix Western Announcements - S-E seem pretty on board with the Switch right now; haven't seen too much from the western side of the company yet though. I could definitely see the likes of Life is Strange, Sleeping Dogs, the 360/PS3 era Tomb Raider, Deus Ex and Just Cause games, and the S-E Collective stuff hitting the Switch in the not-too-distant future.

- No Bayonetta 3 Either - I saw, I think on Nintendo-Life, a recent statement from Platnium that development was 'proceeding well' or something along those lines. I get the sense from that that we're not due to see anything at least for a while yet.

- The Smash Character is from Dark Souls - So I'm sticking with my prediction that the DLC characters are all going to be third party characters that I'm not going to care about in the slightest. There was a rumor going around that the Dragon Quest character has been delayed, so I'm going with Dark Souls. We've already had the first game remastered on Switch, and an amiibo, and you could easily see this being tied into an announcement of Dark Souls II and III being Switch bound too.

- Fatal Frame - Still no sign of a Fatal Frame announcement for Switch, and I doubt Nintendo are done with it yet, especially given how much RE has bounced back with the last couple of installments. If there's going to be a Switch release, I'd imagine it'll be revealed soon.

- No Project X-Cloud Stuff - Yeah, judging by Microsoft's conference, their streaming stuff isn't quite ready for prime time yet. People have been expecting Xbox streaming to come to the Switch for months now. I think there's a pretty good chance it will, but I don't think it'll be announced here.

- A Ninja Gaiden Remaster/Remake - The 2004 one has never been on a Nintendo console, and I can see a portable version generating some interest, especially with there being a bit of an opening in the Switch library for character action games given Bayo 3's continued absence.

- Hitman 2 - If it's technically possible, I think there's a pretty good chance of this. Doesn't feel like Hitman 2 quite did the same business as the previous game. I can see it going portability as quite an attractive prospect for a lot of people though. It could be a big hit on Switch.

Huh. So yeah, in conclusion I guess E3 this year is pretty much doomed. :D

• 00:02 - Hmm. Always interesting to see the rating on these things. What could possibly be 18 rated coming up?.... Oh! Could just be the two id games. Both do look awesome, but man, I had my hopes up for a second for Bayonetta.

• 00:06 - Focusing prominently on Breath of the Wild here. Liking my chances of getting that first prediction right.

• 00:29 - Oh, come on!! I got very excited until I saw freakin' Marth here. :D Guess this is the new Smash character. Well, certainly looks grimdark enough for a Souls character.

• 00:47 - Hm, someone on horseback? Are there horses in the Souls games? Big expert here. Maybe this is the Dragon Quest guy.

• 01:18 - And there it is. Bleah! Or, idk, maybe he's a really cool character. Looking at him though, I don't really see any way that could possibly be true. :p

• 02:19 - Guessing these guys are probably the main characters from other Dragon Quest games. My Souls knowledge is only matched by my Dragon Quest knowledge.

• 03:01 - Oh, come on, Toriyama. That guy on the left is just Piccolo.
• 03:09 - So, from this, it looks like "The Hero" move set might be largely menu-based. That'd be weird. Also, you can maybe tag in other versions of the character, Pokemon Trainer style. Kind of different, but I just have no knowledge of Dragon Quest, so yeah, this is another pass for me. Feeling pretty good about not buying the Fighter's Pass right about now.

• 03:35 - I thought I was "The Hero". Jeez, make up your minds, Square-Enix.

• 04:45 - Oh snap! Guessing we're about to meet Doug Bowser.

• 05:15 - Okay, this is pretty cute.

• 05:32 - Oh, 'related'. Wow, I thought that said something very different for a second there.

• 06:12 - Okay, Luigi's Mansion 3. Really hoping this is a bit more like 1 than 2, or at least that it has freakin' checkpoints before it's very annoying bosses. (Literally just back playing some Luigi's Mansion 2 today. Thought 'man, why haven't I finished this?'. Got to the boss in Stage C-2. Annihilated by bombs and ghosts. Twenty minutes playing through the stage completely wasted. 'Oh right, that's why.')
• 06:42 - Ah, just like I deduced from that first trailer, this is set in a single location. I just hope the mission structure from 2 is gone and we're back to more open exploration in this.

• 07:31 - I was starting to get worried that all this swinging around meant motion controls, but with the button prompts showing up on screen, could it be QTE-based? Wow, that'd be way worse! :D
• 07:35 - Okay, it looks like the swing is on A every time. Luigi's Mansion not about to go full Shenmue just yet.

• 08:07 - Gooigi is an abomination, and must be stopped.

• 08:33 - Return to the abyss from which you came, Gooigi!

Nintendo Direct 13/02/19: Not-so-live Impressions

Woof! Another super, super late one. Adult responsibilities, you guys, I really don't recommend them. I was actually on the verge of blowing this one off entirely, but hearing some whispers about what showed up here, there was no way I could. Let's take a look!

• 0:14 - Here it is! Mario Maker! So, Mario World confirmed anyway. (Damn it, Nintendo, there better be slopes this time round!)

• 0:23 - Looks like a redesigned interface for the stylus-less touchscreen. Still though, not sure how smoothly moving things around a level will go on that Switch screen.

• 0:25 - Oh hell yeah!! We have slopes, people! Hmm, I see the ON/OFF switch from SMW is there too. Interesting.

• 0:50 - Got to say, with them calling this Mario Maker 2 rather than Deluxe or something, I'm hoping for some pretty meaningful additions here. Maybe they'll finally do a Mario 2 tileset!

• 0:54 - Oh no. Damn it, Nintendo, why'd you have to go and add the Mario 3 sun in? I'm already envisioning so many terrible Course World levels, each with no less than twenty of these.

• 1:13 - Cat Mario. Sure, but the NSMB tile set was never really my thing in Mario Maker. Probably didn't help that it seemed to be the go to tile set for kids - which more often than not resulted in levels that were like, tile salad with three Bowsers at the end.

• 1:18 - Ooh, huge blocks! A much needed addition for that authentic Mario 3 giant level feel.

• 1:29 - Oh hell yeah, Boom Boom! Man, I'm really itching to make some more Mario 3 levels right about now.
• 1:34 - June 2019. Cool! Will definitely be picking this up.
• 2:14 - Well, looks like they're not delving into it too deeply here. Still hope for some Mario 2 action then. Ooh man, or Mario Land. That'd be wild.

Nintendo Direct 13/09/18: Extremely Not-so-live Impressions

Wow! This one really fell through the cracks. From last September the 13th's Nintendo Direct, the coldest takes on Luigi's Mansion and Nintendo Switch Online; the hottest Katamari, Switch Pro Controller, and Splatoon trailer burns. Oh yeah, it's a spicy one!

• 00:01 - Pegi 18? Okay! Maybe finally some Bayonetta 3 here. (It's going to a Devil's Third Definitive Edition, isn't it? I just know it!)

• 00:25 - Aah! Full disclosure: I did see the title of this pop up beforehand. I'm just wondering which platform. Surely not 3DS. Just let it go, Nintendo.
• 00:33 - I hate to be down on this, but man, I'd be so much more excited for another Luigi's Mansion if I hadn't just put a bunch of time into Luigi's Mansion 2. I'm on to the third mansion at the moment, and it's just.. not really doing it for me. I feel like they took the relatively light puzzle-solving component of the first game and ratcheted it up to breaking point, cramming the game to the brim with irritating puzzles that always seemed to based on some obtuse action that never seems even remotely apparent. Maybe I'm just dumb. :D

• 00:37 - Well, this certainly looks like a Switch game anyway. Liking the Art Deco look here.

• 00:43 - Gah! That ghost looks unnervingly like Luigi, and it's freaking me out!

• 00:48 - Okay, next year and on the Switch. Hoping this one at least makes the puzzles more fun. Possibly reading too much into production art here, but I'm guessing from the size of that mansion that there won't be other mansions this time around. Could we we a see a return of a more open, Luigi's Mansion 1 style mansion, instead of LM2's missions too? Hope so!

• 00:55 - Hmm, Takahashi returning from E3's Direct? It really looked like they'd kind of settled on Koizumi for helming these, but I guess they're still kind of in experimentation mode.

• 01:23 - Boooooo! No, let's not.

• 01:33 - Wow, Kirby's Epic Yarn: there's a blast from the past. A really fun little game - don't get me wrong - but come on, why not a HD remaster on a platform it might actually sell on, Nintendo? I swear, it's getting harder and harder to understand their continued support for the 3DS with each passing Direct.

• 02:35 - Bowser Jr.!? Guessing this must be another Mario & Luigi port. Maybe Mario Sunshine? Nah, no way!

• 02:39 - Oh right, Bowser's Inside Story! I guess this isn't out yet. Ask me anything about the 3DS's 2019 release schedule.
• 02:55 - Go on Bowser Jr.'s journey? Finally!

• 03:50 - Yikes, that's even more unsettling than the Luigi ghost from earlier. (Edit: And this was before I even knew he was called Gooigi. *shudder*) Yeah, won't be picking up Luigi's Mansion again on the 3DS, though I expect I'd be having more fun replaying that than I'm having with 2 right now.

• 04:23 - Oh right! Wow, I forgot the New 3DS even had amiibo support. Speaking of which, I really need to grab the last of the Mario collection ones. That Luigi one: pretty sharp. Still no Luigi's Mansion amiibos though, even with TWO compatible games on the horizon! Hmm, yeah, after the new Smash Bros. ones, I have a feeling that Nintendo are getting out of amiibo business. *sigh* So many cool Zelda side characters that we'll never get.

• 04:46 - Wow, that bootleg Ecto-1 is blatant.
• 05:22 - No, I really don't know why, Voice-over Guy.

• 05:25 - Yeah, Voice-over Guy, I think I'm going to go and continue to ignore every aspect of the Yo-Kai Watch franchise. I's been working out pretty well for me so far.
• 05:31 - Oh, who could have possibly forgotten about the Moon Crew update? I mean, really.

Nintendo Direct: E3 2018 - Not-so-live Impressions

So, back to just Nintendo this year - as much as I had fun going over the last couple of Microfoft conferences (No, really!), man, what do you say about Halo, Forza, Gears, Crackdown, We Happy Few etc. for the third year running, especially having not played a single second of any of them in the meantime? Maybe some of the acquisitions they announced this year will throw up some excitement in the future. For now though we've got Gears Pops! and a Battletoads logo. "Exceptional creativity in gaming" indeed, Phil. :)

But hey, Nintendo! So, obviously, Smash is going to be the big game of their E3 this year. Metroid Prime 4 probably going to feature pretty prominently here too; possibly a Bayonetta 3 teaser in there somewhere. But, there's no need for speculation. I'm here to lay down exactly what's about to go down. Oh you know it, it's time for..

Predictions!!

1.) Ridley in Smash - *sigh* As lame as Ridley will undoubtedly be in Smash. - Fight me, fanboys! - I suspect this is inevitable this time. The demand has been deafening since freakin' Melee, and with Metroid Prime 4 on the horizon, it'd make for a nice tie-in - possibly even an amiibo with cross-game functionality. Yeah, it's happening.
2.) Simon Belmont in Smash - With Konami making a couple of moves Castlevania-wise lately, and long-standing fan demand here too, I think he has a pretty good shot at getting in this time.
3.) Metroid Prime 4 is a giant monkey's paw! - I really don't want this to come true, but man, when I think of Star Fox Zero and the unnecessary touch screen stuff, I can't help but fear that Nintendo will, in the interests of innovation, and not wanting to repeat themselves, make some bizarre decision with MP4, probably control-wise, swearing up and down until release date that 'no, when you play it like this, it's actually so much better'. And it wont be! It'll be the absolute biggest bummer imaginable.
4.) Final Fantasy...something - Sure, Square has been doing it's old school RPG thing on the Switch, but with it's current level of success I think they'll feel confident to anoint it with some kind of Final Fantasy announcement - maybe even a new Switch exclusive. I'm envisioning a very brief CG trailer, precious few details and absolutely no further updates for at least two years. So, you know, every S-E announcement.
5.) Star Fox Racing isn't a thing - The appearance of Star Fox in Starlink at the Ubi conference has made me slightly iffy about this. After Star Fox Zero, I kind of expected the Star Fox crew to be put into hiding for a while for a while, but, hey, maybe Nintendo isn't done with them quite yet. I don't know though, like Pokemon Stars before it - also confirmed by 'insider' sources I'm pretty sure (certainly not Googling it) - this kind of reeks of BS. And if not, I'm going to be super, super bummed because this just sounds like the worst thing in the world. Basically "eff you F-Zero, Star Fox and Retro fans. Check out this trash fire!"
6.) Fire Emblem - Quite a big franchise now for Nintendo, and it fees like about the time to announce the first Switch installment.
7.) A Project Zero/Fatal Frame collection - Kind of reaching with this one, and this may not be the venue, and it might not be a collection, but I think there's a decent chance we'll see the PJ games made under Nintendo's tenure at least given a second shake on the Switch.
8.) Soul Calibur 6 - It won't be as pretty, but with the Switch doing well, I think they'll find a way. Maybe even Tekken 6 too.
9.) At least one new Ubisoft announcement - I'm tempted to say a Switch-tailored Assassin's Creed, but that series has become such a monster in terms of dev talent needed, I can't really see it happening. Nintendo and Ubi have had a pretty good relationship for the last few generations. We've had Mario + Rabbids, which, with the Mario brand to help it along, I think was a tentative step onto the Switch for Ubi after the Wii U failed to deliver. With the Switch doing pretty well now, I suspect they'll be confident enough to announce a project or two outside of Just Dance and Rabbids.
10.) N64 Classic - It mightn't be shown during this, but with Nintendo renewing the N64 trademarks recently just like they did with the SNES ones last year, there's a very good chance this is on the way. Expecting a mostly first-party dominated line-up though. I'm sure Microsoft would take a slice of the profits in exchange for Rare's catalog, if Nintendo was interested, but you know they won't be.

So, let's get to it!





00:22 - Okay? Looks like some kind of mech fighting game, maybe.



00:24 - Guessing this is based on some, at least, semi-famous license give how this guy's being framed here. There are probably like, anime fans screaming in delight at what they're witnessing here. I've got nothing.



00:37 - Ooh, I like the look of this. There's a slight flat-shaded Suda-y vibe to it.
00:55 - Wow, this music! :D It's like I've been whisked back to that magical pop culture high point that was the early 00's.



01:33 - Yeah, this looks quite promising - kind of Zone of the Enders-ish combat; cool look. Hopefully you're not listing to this for the duration though, 'cause holy crap!



01:48 - Daemon X Machina. Sure.



02:10 - Looks we're setting up for another Tokyo RPG Factory joint now.
02:26 - Or not. I may still not have played any of them but 'Aegis' is definitely a Xenoblade thing. (In my defense, I am working my way through Tokyo Mirage Sessions at the moment though. - Eh, what can I say, j-pop teens > dead-god-based land masses.)



02:46 - Yep, definitely Xenoblade. DLC maybe? They're hardly cranking out another sequel already.



02:56 - Gorgeous-looking landscapes as ever. Maybe someday, I'll stop find excuses not to pay these.



03:51 - Ah, okay. It is DLC.



04:07 - Reggie time. Drink! Hey, no, wait, we're not doing that this year. Put it down!



04:18 - Whoa, I'd legitimately forgotten that you can use the joycons turned on their sides as controllers. :D Maybe I'm just not attending enough rooftop parties. Also: what's going on with that Game Boy shrine at the side of the TV? There's like, an original Game Boy box, a giant, fake Game Boy Color, and an actual Game Boy Color, on a pedestal??