Wednesday, October 29, 2014

So I Won a Halloween Hamper... for Children

There I was, at a pub quiz raffle table with only seconds to pick a prize. With the obvious big-ticket items gone, this hampery thing I'd spotted earlier on looked like a safe bet, looked like it had a bunch of candy and stuff in it. I grab it,  get back to my table, and looking over my haul I notice a crappy mask, fake blood, tattoos. It becomes immediately clear that I've just made a horrendous mistake. And I'm not a big enough asshole to try and exchange it for something else. So, after being freakin' robbed at the final quiz results (Seriously, I don't think our team ever in such good form. I suspect shenanigans.), I headed home sadly, hamper in hand, though still with the faint hope of finding something cool in amongst all the tat.

Let's see what we've got in there:

Yeah, what am I going to do with a kid size Halloween mask?

Well, this obviously. Though I feel there's still something missing.


What's this mask supposed to be of anyway? Looks like the guy from Devil World crossed with Eddie Munster. And why does he have tusks?

Balloons? Sure, I could probably use those.

A glow stick: eh, not so much. (And while we're on the subject of the glow stick, I wonder where that bit of a feather came from?)

The Blow & Glow thing sounded interesting though. Well, troubling name aside.

Here's what you get in the pack. It's basically just a plastic pipe with an LED light on the end. You switch on the LED, put the balloon over it and inflate it by taking the black thing off of the other end. I know I'm being a spoilsport here, but I really don't want to bust this out until Halloween. With the switch being where it is, you'd need to deflate the balloon to turn it off, and leaving it on, I can't imagine it'd last more than a few hours.

Oh, okay then.

So, I'm guessing these are just straws with skeleton things dangling off them, but I think I'm going to have to carry out some further investigations to confirm. Glitter blood? Great, all my Twilight costume needs taken care of in one. The tattoos do look pretty rad though, even if I can't really pull off wearing those anymore.

Well, usually. Aaaaaahhhhh! They last a while too. I've had this dumb thing on for a day now (can't really bring myself to scrub it off) and it still looks good.

Here's a better look at the inside sheet. Man, that bullet one's so dumb. It might be my favourite.

Aha! So, I wasn't entirely wrong about the hamper. there was some candy lurking in there at the bottom. We've got some small bags of Haribo Halloween Horror Mix, which I remember quite liking back in 2010;

a couple of candy necklaces, with some pretty nice-looking skulls in the middle;

and a few gummy candies. Man, that finger isn't too hot-looking. And is that meant to be an ear in the top right?

With that gash down the middle, it looks like something else entirely.

Here we've got some more of the caution tape from the wrapping. Sure, I'll take it. As if I'm in the middle of an adventure game, I somehow know that's going to come in handy later. Now, you might be assuming that those balls on the left are more candy, some kind of seasonal gobstoppers or gumballs. Nope, they're balls, just rubber balls, and not even very bouncy ones at that. Maybe they had some cash left over when they were buying this stuff; I don't know. The spiders look pretty cool though. Definitely going to hang those up somewhere.

And finally, probably my pick of the bunch: a couple of freakin' skull shot glasses. Yeah, I've got no idea why they put these in here either. They're hardly kid-appropriate. But I'm glad they did.

Plastic as they may be, they look freaking awesome.

As it turns out, maybe not such a bad choice after all.

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