Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The Untweeted

Maybe this only happens to me, but I'll often take a picture of something with an undoubtedly hilarious tweet in mind, put it aside until later. The next thing I know, it's months later and the moment for that tweet's just passed. It goes...


Ahem. But hey, no time like the present, right? No wait, come back!

I don't know about you guys, but I have a lot of love for poorly-translated advertising material. I think I got this with a USB-powered Wii Sensor bar from China: an entertainment weapon for indoors men, indeed.

Powerful blowjobs in the middle of traffic? WTF, Sony.

So, there's stuff here that I just didn't get around to posting originally, and then there's a screen grab that prominently features a dog's penis. I don't know why I was gun-shy about tweeting this though, it's from an ad that aired on Kix: a cartoon-focused channel for kids. Am I being a huge prude here? It's right there. Center screen. Back-lit. I'm not demanding that dogs wear pants on TV here, I just don't know if you need to get a good look at a dog's junk right in the middle of Dragon Ball Z Kai.

Yeah, if I was responsible for a channel putting out the quality of programming that RTÉ 2 does, I'm not sure an ident featuring a dumpster is one that I'd want to be running.

*sigh* Eat me, if you must.

Hah, talk about a traffic light malfunction! No wait, come back!

For the uninitiated, this is (almost) a traffic light bun: a (let's be honest) low-quality, but tasty puff pastry filled with fake cream and topped with dollops of raspberry, lime and lemon syrup: red, green and yellow, like a traffic light, not this all-raspberry travesty. This is borderline lawsuit territory.

Promo shots for the next installment of Nymphomaniac? No, it's another weird-ass ad on Kix. This time for some sort of cold medicine.

Oof! Never has a Netflix preview image stopped me so completely in my tracks as this one did. I kind of can't stand Peter Kay to begin with, and seeing him as this freaking poo monster, I knew this episode of Doctor Who was going to be trash. No joke, I stared at this for fifteen minutes before finally I plucked up the courage to start it up and holy crap, was I right. The twist, though, was that I didn't mind Peter Kay in this at all. It was everything else that was terrible.

Sounds exhausting. (#OnlyIrishKidsWillEtcEtc)

Speaking of idents, I thought this one Horror were running the Christmas before last was surprisingly rad. RTÉ could learn a thing or two. Then again, they'd probably just have a dumpster on fire and still fail to see any problem with it. :D

Opening a letter to see this, you'd reasonably expect to be blown up on the spot. Actually, this wasn't an ironic "fuck you" message from a mad bomber, but an ad for a power company's rewards program, of course.

And finally, a sentiment I think we can all agree with.

No comments: