Nintendo Direct 03/03/2016 (EU): Not-so-live Impressions

I'm really debating the merits of doing this one here. Apparently there won't be any NX or mobile talk, so I 'm wondering what that leaves for this direct. I think we're more or less at the end of the line for new Wi U and 3DS announcements now, so I'm guessing this is going to be a lot of follow-up type stuff. Do I really have anything else to say about the 3DS version of Hyrule Warriors? I guess we'll find out. :D

• 00:20 - Yes! The triumphant return. Somewhere, Mr. Iwata is very happy right now. :)

• 00:35 - Star Fox Zero first. Damn. Shiggy's looking very contrite here. I'm expecting another delay, or at least some bowing.
• 00:43 - Yep. Little bow there.
• 00:50 - I want to believe this'll be an authentic action game, but reports of them doubling down on the second screen stuff lately aren't exactly filling me with confidence.

• 01:02 - General Pepper's looking good. Overall plot and structure similar to Starfox 64. Is this another pseudo remake of the original Star Fox then (like 64)?
• 01:06 - Oh, okay. The story's new. (Hopefully they'll take lots of cues from Star Fox Command. Never played that game, but boy, the screen grabs that keep popping up from it's story are incredible. :D)

• 01:24 - Wooo! Kat! Man, its been so long since I've plated Star Fox 64, I'm not sure how this compares to Fortuna in that, but this is definitely pretty.
• 01:51 - Always enjoyed the branching paths in Star Fox, so this is all good to hear. Ooh, an amiibo logo on the map screen. I wonder how they're going to work those in here?

• 02:41 - Oh hey, you guys remember asynchronous gameplay? Although I suppose this is more like the co-op mode in like, Mario Galaxy than the types of games they were showing off before the Wii U launched. Also, no one's going to be playing this way.

• 03:11 - Okay, so the Fox amiibo unlock let's you fly the SNES arwing. I sill haven't picked up that Fox amiibo. Is this enough to justify a purchase? Yeah, probably. :D

• 03:19 - Project Guard. It's back, you guys. I suppose as a mode in Star Fox Zero.
• 03:22 - Slippy's uncle Grippy? Boy, Grippy's an unfortunate uncle name.

• 03:39 - I don't think I ever bothered to watch footage of this before. Is this basically Night Trap? :D
• 03:45 - So Night Trap with gun turrets then. Howard Lincoln would be so disappointed.
• 04:10 - It's seems to be kind of a tower defence thing really. Yeah, not really my thing, custom levels or not. I don't know.
• 04:22 - Oh, Star Fox Guard is a separate thing. April 22nd for that and Star Fox Zero. I think I'm waiting for some impressions before I buy Star Fox. The control scheme is still a bit of a question mark. I know there was a tweet confirming a standard control option back in the summer, but that's a long time ago now. Many tea tables have been upended since then I'm willing to bet.

• 04:37 - Oh weird. Star Fox Guard is getting a physical release in the limited edition of Star Fox Zero. Wow, that box art sure is something. :D Just what does Uncle Grippy have a hold of? Looking at the bottom right of the bundle box, it looks like there's a third thing in the bundle too. Some kind of DLC maybe?
• 04:58 - Oh, it's a steelbook. Never really got the steelbook hype. Depending on price though, yeah, I might go for this pack.

• 05:17 - Damn it, I still haven't gotten around to Splatoon. I even bought the soundtrack already, and I STILL haven't gotten around to the actual game.
• 06:41 - Mario and Sonic at the Rio Olympics. Those games are still a thing. Remember that short window where everyone was excited about Mario and Sonic teaming up in the first one of these before Sonic in Smash completely destroyed any excitment for that endeavor? What a time to be alive.

• 08:00 - Still, this looks about 1,000 more appealing than watching the actual Olympics. Shy Guys on floats? That's an opening ceremony I could get behind.

• 09:05 - Oh, Super Mario Maker. Slopes?

• 09:35 - Nice. I've been working on a SMW castle stage. These will fit right in.

• 09:42 - Nope. Fuck that. :D
• 09:50 - Yes! Keys! Though, unless you can attach a second bonus level to a keyhole, they won't be that cool.
• 10:12 - Yeah, not really the implementation of keys I was hoping for. Still, they'll be useful for creating boss battles.

• 10:28 - Oh, these are interesting - red coins that you need to collect all of before a key will appear. Bringing some Mario 64 into Mario Maker. I like it.
• 11:01 - Yikes! Super Expert Mode. Granted, I haven't checked in in a while, but I even find most of the levels that wind up in Expert borderline unplayable.

• 11:10 - Yay! Tetra! My dark secret though? I super don't care about mystery mushroom characters in Mario Maker. I haven't even scanned all the amiibos I have to unlock those mushrooms. I don't know. If the characters had different abilities maybe they'd be more appealing, but as it is, they're just palette swaps for Small Mario with a couple of custom sound effects. I'd rather just play as Mario. Now a Tetra amiibo? Day. Freaking. One.
• 11:35 - Damn it! No slopes. Denied!

• 11:58 - Hold up, you guys. Genei Ibun Roku ♯FE AKA SMT X Fire Emblem might actually have a real name in the West now.
• 12:53 - Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE. Well, close enough. Really excited to grab this actually. It's looked better and better every time they've shown it.

• 13:08 - Oh shit! IT'S HAPPENING! The Paper Mario on Wii U rumors were true. Already sounds like this one has another dumb gimmick though. Great.

• 13:42 - Damn, Mario. I know you hate Toad's guts, but that's cold.

• 13:55 - Really like the look of this, but this color hammer stuff sounds worrying.
• 14:25 - Oof, the battle system sounds a lot like Sticker Star. Man, I really want another good Paper Mario. I have a bad feeling that this won't be it.

• 14:58 - My Nintendo. Still haven't gotten around to to signing up for that. (I've been laid up with what felt like the plague for the last week and a half.)
• 15:41 - Yeah! Amiibo news. Really hope they're done the Animal Crossing ones now, 'cause yaaaaaaaaawn.

• 15:50 - Apparently not. And they're cards too. Yuck.

• 16:01 - Okay, some physical ones. Nothing I'm really after though. I still hoping they'll at least do a series of Zelda ones before the amiibo train comes off the rails.

• 16:22 - Huh? What? Some relevant Hyrule Warriors Legends news. So, I guess I got my wish and the new characters *will* be available to download in the Wii U version, but only with that code that comes in the 3DS version I'm guessing. Come on, Nintendo, not like this. Let me pay for them separately.
• 17:49 - Well, at least we'll get Medli for free on the Wii U. (Psst, another Zelda amiibo I'd totally get day one. Do you hear me, Nintendo? Come on, do it.)
• 18:52 - Yo-kai Watch. Yeah, I guess we're into the 3DS section now.

• 19:08 - Yikes.

• 19:13 - The thirst for animated GIFs is real. :D
• 20:06 - Hey, I finally have a 3DS now. I should probably download that Yo-Kai Watch demo. (I won't though.)

• 20:26 - Disney Art Academy. Yep.

• 21:47 - Oh boy, did Metroid Federation Force leave fans with "some questions". :D
• 25:31 - Yeah, I can't say that much to sell me on this game. Tanabe might want to play out battles between Federation forces and Space Pirates in a Metroid game, but I think he might be the only one.

Nintendo Direct 12/11/2015 (EU): Not-so-live Impressions

It's very late. I'm very tired. It can only be Nintendo Direct Not-so-live Impressions time.

• 00:00 -  Jeez, that YouTube description. Freaking spoilers, Nintendo. :D
• 00:11 - Yay! Shibata!
• 00:28 - Aww. Rest in peace, Mr. Iwata.

• 00:42 - Well bam, there it is: Twilight Princess HD!
• 01:02 - Oh boy. I'm so ready for this. I might have been one of the only ones, but I freaking loved Twilight Princess. I've been hankering to replay it for years, but man, that Wii version looks like jaggedy garbage on a HDTV.

• 01:05 - Hmm. This is maybe not the full visual upgrade I was expecting. :D Looks like a more basic uprezzing. Even so, this is a big step up from that PAL Wii version smeared all over a big TV.
• 01:47 - What's with the music here. Twilight Princess had awesome trailer music and a rad trailer to go with it back in the day.
• 02:17 - Uh Oh! Outsourced remake. Between that and the lack of graphical pizazz here, I'll bet most of GAF is shitting all over this right now. :D

• 02:25 - Oh yes! Oh fuck yes! I will buy the crap out of that amiibo! (Failing to see how this makes it more than "a prettier remake of the same game", but carry on, Shibata.)

• 02:32- Compatible with the existing Zelda amiibos too. Eww, pee column Link. Come on, Nintendo, how about a proper adult Link amiibo?
• 02:39 - Oh. I was kind of expecting this to be releasing imminently. I still have hope that this isn't taking the place of the new Zelda on the Wii U though, but with this releasing next year (almost certainly), we're getting into more dangerous territory on that one, I fear.
• 02:47 - Okay, March 4th. Yeah, that early in the year, I think it's safe to say that they're not positioning this as a sort of consolation prize for Wii U owners. Hype train re-engage!

• 02:56 - Oh snap, it's a retail release. I was thinking digital with the amiibo released to coincide with it, but hell yeah, I'll take this, especially with the soundtrack included (which, surprise, I really loved).

• 03:28 - Oh crap! A wild Zelda Wii U appears! Really wasn't expecting a confirmation of that here, but I'll also take that. Looks more cel shaded than the last time they showed it, I think. And whoa, does Link have brown hair here?

 

• 03:29 - No, it's blonde. He's wearing a hood, not unlike the one Zelda wears in Twilight princess when you first see her actually. Some connection maybe. Time to revise your timelines, everyone.
• 03:44 - Oh? Some stop and swap action with the Wolf Link amiibo. The Twilight Princess connection plot thickens... Or not...
• 04:02 - I'm trying to think what Zelda games they haven't released on the Wii U VC yet. Majora's Mask and.. Minish Cap, maybe?

• 04:07 - Of course! How could I have forgotten the two DS games. Such a great fit for the Wii U. You won't even be able to play these on your TV! :D (2D sprite-based games with minimal touch screen interaction: those are the types of DS games that'll look good and work well on the Wii U, Nintendo. Not these.)
• 04:41 - It's a Zelda-heavy direct. Triforce Heroes now. Yep, still don't even have a 3DS. :D I did just pick up Four Swords Adventures for the Gamecube though, and Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles actually. Now all I need is a house and three hookers to play them with.

• 06:03 - Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam. *Sigh" And all of a sudden the realisation that there's no true Paper Mario sequel on the way becomes a crushing disappointment once again. I'm sure this'll be fine though.

• 07:30 - For a second there I thought they were adding Paper Mario's badges to Mario & Luigi in the form of cards. Nope, these are just glorified items. Wouldn't want to add any interesting wrinkles to that super fun M&L battle system, would we? :D #SoSalty
• 07:47 - Okay, a few of these amiibo cards have badge-like functions, but again, most of these just work as single use, stat-altering items, as far as I can see. 

• 09:28 - You know, the papercraft battles might be the most interesting thing here to me. Well, aside from the story, which I'm sure will be fun.
• 10:22 - Updates for Wii U games in 2015 now. Slopes! Slopes! Slopes!

• 10:36 - Man, I feel terrible for not having played Splatoon yet. Between Yoshi's Wolly World, watching every bit of Glastonbury coverage (it was fun while it lasted, TunnelBear), Mario Maker and a bunch of other things, it just slipped off my radar. Of course I still bought it though. (I mean, it did come with an amiibo. Come on.).
• 11:59 - Cool that they're still supporting it with new content though.. I wonder if this is where they start charging however.

• 13:22 - Yes. Give me my slopes. Damn it!
• 13:34 - Just the stuff in the recent update so far. Really happy with checkpoints. Everything else, I could take or leave.

• 14:12 - Ooh yes! Finally some searching options, and tags by the look of things.
• 14:23 - Seriously, Nintendo!? A web site, not something in-game? This is going to used for searching by virtually no one, meanwhile loading up levels within the game alone will be as much of a crapshoot as ever. Plus, Mario Maker Hub is already doing exactly this anyway.
• 14:46 - Okay, there is a little integration with the game. Marking a course as a favorite on the site and having it waiting in the game will make sharing levels a little easier at least. Providing people use this site, that is.
• 15:04 - December for the Mario Maker site. Well, can't hurt to throw my levels up there as well, I guess.
• 15:08 - Queue absolutely none of my levels :D (Giants Rule, people: AA63-0000-0092-A8BD Catch it!)
• 15:21 - I'm somehow not expecting any of Dan Ryckert's atrocities to show up here either. :D

• 16:02 - I hate all these people. :D Also, "Nigge"? Really?

• 16:56 - "Which level will you play first?" None of the above, Nintendo. None of the above. #SoSalty

• 17:18 - Xenoblade Chronicles X, and I think I'm having a Chystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers flashback.

• 17:48 - This still looks great, but, and maybe I'm being a terrible person here, I still haven't played the Wii original, so I'll be skipping out on this one for now come December.

• 18:33 - Speaking of skipping stuff, I hear Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash might be one to miss. Definitely won't be bothering with Animal Crossing: Amiibo Festival either. That Tom Nook amiibo though? Maybe.
• 18:43 - Wait!? What the hell was that Mario Tennis song? ♫Tennis. This is Tennis, with Super Mario... something♫. What? I... What!?
• 19:10 - Ooh, a new guy.

• 19:27 - Fast Racing Neo. Graphics look quite nice. Played the demo of the first one on the Wii though and found it a bit unwieldy.
• 19:37 - With the color switching and extreme speed here, I'm getting shades of Ikaruga and Burnout here. Hm, might give this a look if there's a demo on offer.
• 21:07 - Yeah, that looks quite sharp. Man, imagine what a Wii U F-Zero could look like. *sigh*

 *Sorry guys, forgot to turn off YouTube annotations for majority of the following pics. That's why you can see an info link... thing in the top right corner of  most of them. D'oh!

• 21:14 - Typoman: a puzzle-platformer with a unique art style, finally. :D (Actually, the art styles I usually like, but you couldn't get me excited about another indie puzzle-platformer at this point.)
• 21:43 - Yeah, this one's a pass for me, I think.

• 21:59 - Steamworld Heist for 3DS. I should probably play Steamworld Dig at some point, right? 
• 22:17 - Hats! Do people still care about TF2 hats? I'd have to imagine that Dota 2 and those dumb steam cards have eaten into that market a fair bit.
• 22:31 - This seems like a neat game (that I'll probably never play either). :D

• 23:07 - So this is Nintendo Badge Arcade. Decorate your 3DS home menu. No thanks, I'm good.
• 23:15 - Nintendo finally getting into that lucrative desktop theme market.
• 23:27 - Oof, charging for random items in games is always gross.
• 23:57 - Pokémon Picross. I have no thoughts on this whatsoever. :D I should probably play the DS picross games, just not on Wii U.
• 24:00 - Another "free to start" game. DeNaaaaaaaaaaaa!